Some Cricketing Definitions

Just a few definitions from "A Cricket Dictionary"--

APPEAL- A 250 decibel scream made to overcome the obvious congen-
ital deafness so common in the umpiring profession.

AVAGOYAMUG- The mysterious, almost religious chant that comes out
of the mouth of the cricket spectator.Sometimes it can be repeat-
ed by the one person 1200  times in  an  afternoon,especially  if
the Englishmen are batting.

BLOCK- Taking block, a slow painful ritual involving an  incoming
batsman,  the  umpire  and  a  little pitch excavation.A means of
postponing the fearful onslaught.

BRADMAN- See God.

BYE- A way of scoring a run  or  more  by  cleverly  missing  the
ball.The  umpire  raises  one  arm  as  if  he wants to leave the
room.The wicketkeeper wishes he could.

CAUGHT BEHIND- Trapped in the turnstiles.

COMMENTATOR- He's venerable.His eyesight is not as good as it was
in 1938 but it's remarkable how he can still pick an inswinger or
an outswinger from 200 metres.Whats going on in the centre can be
a wretched inconvevience when he's just recalling that marvellous
incident on the fourth day of the Fifth Test in 1948.He is superb
at describing seagulls and most graceful at 5pm when he refers to
the long shadows moving across the ground.At 6pm during the  sum-
ming up he can usually cause a shock by actually referring to the 
days play.

ESKY- A trade device used for carting  refreshments  mostly  into
sports grounds.  Many of them are made of plastic foam.In moments
of extreme emotion during      Test matches it is done  to  break
up your esky and throw the pieces at

EXTRAS- Or in politer circles,sundries.Here we have  the  collec-
tion  of  no balls and byes.Extras is quite a fellow.Sometimes he
is so skillful he is the top scorer of the day.

FOOTBALL- A crude winter game played with an inflated  pigskin.It
provides  much  tedious  talk  in  the newspapers,bars and on the
airwaves.If particular care is not taken it will  get  worse  and
the desire will arise to play it all year round.

GOD- See Bradman.

HORSE  RACING-  A  strange  unecessary  sport  where  horses  are
thrashed  into  competing  against one another.It is used for the
sole purpose of interrupting cricket descriptions on the radio.
Well,there you go.Enjoy.
 Contributed by Cric8wala (sidiyus@129.105.112.45)