'What day is it? Where am I?'

Hello. Presume you're here for the latest on Kevin Pietersen's coffee-drinking, which seems to have become the main theme of this column.

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Wait a minute. You're not Kevin Pietersen. Although you do sound uncannily like him on this occasion.

Let's start again. This is what we should have opened with. We should have started with a bang.

David Gower's on Twitter and he's brought terrible dad jokes!

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It seems as if James Taylor may have goaded him into tweeting. And that's not all he's been doing, the mischievous scamp.

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The two men appear to be building quite the relationship, with Taylor also introducing Gower to other new experiences.

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Over on a rival channel, covering Test series taking place in Australia entails a certain amount of talking through the night. Graeme Swann needs to find a way to switch off.

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Well, this is one way to unwind.

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Or if that seems just a little too ridiculous, how about this?

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Or, if it comes to the worst, he could always join legions of other cricketers in their favoured pastime.

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No, if you really, truly want to relax, there's only one thing to do: go round to Sachin's where he'll present you with a cake with your name on.

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Somewhere in the world there is always a cricketer sharing strange details of their air travel.

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Or being a bit too enthusiastic about an aeroplane's ability to quickly and easily transport you from one place to another.

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Normally people want to take selfies with cricketers - but cricketers now love air travel so much that they're demanding selfies with airline staff.

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Enough of this innovation. Let's finish with a pair of good, straightforward, traditional in-flight selfies to bring us back to normality.

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