'Just used hair gel as face moisturiser'

After a short-lived experiment with juice…

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… KP's back on the coffee.

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KP has been a godsend for this column in recent months. We aren't sure what we're going to do when he goes back to cricket and stops trying to make out he's a fun-loving, hard-drinking party animal on Twitter.

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Or when he stops using hair gel as moisturiser.

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We're also worried about a loss of material when Jimmy Neesham heads home and ceases to explore British culture.

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Sometimes they even work together, like the other day when they solved golf.

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Without them, what are we left with? Shane Warne's texting thumbs are still struggling to come to terms with the next wave of technology.

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Rangana Herath's extraordinary fitness is what allows him to keep things moving along.

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You will never know. Herath would never lower himself to a 2k time trial.

Somewhere in the world there is always a cricketer complaining about air travel. Even if it's a part-time cricketer.

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Umar Akmal's Twitter account is essentially a prolonged paean to Umar Akmal. He is king of the selfie. To give you some idea, this is the kind of thing you can expect from him pretty much daily.

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However, he's jumped the gun in attempting to become the latest to deliver an in-flight selfie for us.

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You're not fooling anyone, Umar. That's an airport, not a plane.

Much the same mistake was made by Shoaib Malik.

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No point trying to distract us with that aeroplane emoji, Shoaib. That's clearly a bus.

However, for all those who say Umar never learns from his mistakes, think again.

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Great fun. Sitting in chair pointing a phone at oneself is pretty much the most fun a man can have.