Export but think Indian

Now that we have passed the halfway mark of the IPL season, it's time to ask ourselves what additional nuggets of knowledge we have gleaned about the competition. Here are my initial impressions, before I head off to Centurion to watch the Mumbai Indians try and resurrect their faltering campaign.

1. Exporting the IPL was a worthwhile experiment. Even if it doesn't clash with general elections in future, sending it abroad once in four years or so might be a terrific idea. Already people in South Africa are identifying with certain franchises. And if Lalit Modi and his friends really do aspire to one day seeing these teams mentioned in the same breath as Barcelona, Manchester United and Liverpool, then building captive followings in overseas markets is a good way to go. Despite intense interest in football and rugby as the seasons draw to a close, the IPL has certainly captured the imagination of sports lovers in southern Africa.

2. Think Indian. There's only one team adrift at the foot of the table, and that's the one with the poorest Indian contingent. John Buchanan's whine about being able to play only four foreign players should be dismissed with the contempt it deserves. Instead of spending silly money on Mashrafe Mortaza, still to get a game, perhaps the Knight Riders should have spent more energy on getting Manoj Tiwary or Shreevats Goswami back "home". Look at the teams at the top. Delhi have Pradeep Sangwan, Rajasthan have Abhishek Raut, Amit Singh and Kamran Khan, while Chennai have the outstanding Shadab Jakati. Invest in Indian talent or perish.

3. Money can't buy you... well, not success on a cricket pitch anyway. Of the big-money signings from the Goa auction, only JP Duminy and Ravi Bopara have gone some way towards justifying the outlay. Paul Collingwood may as well cover a certain Dire Straits song.

4. Show no respect for reputations. Delhi have not been afraid to bench Glenn McGrath or drop Daniel Vettori. The Deccan Chargers dropped VVS Laxman. Chennai have yet to play Makhaya Ntini. Horses for courses is the way to go, and sometimes thoroughbreds will miss out.

5. It's not a DLF-er, it's a sixer, stoopid. Any television exec, or marketing manager, who seriously thinks that endless repetition of such inanities will promote a brand has probably been smoking too much dagga.

6. Just how do they pick Miss Bollywood or whatever the poor girls are called? Is there a casting couch tucked away somewhere? Suppose the prettiest girl in the crowd has no interest in acting with Shah Rukh Khan? What then?

7. The cheerleaders are great, but someone tell the cameramen that pelvic examinations are best left to qualified folk.

8. Can the BCCI please take a tour of the grounds and learn what stadiums should be like? What's the point of all that money when most of your venues are not fit for man, fan or beast?

9. The stadiums are not sold out. How could they be on weekdays in the middle of a recession? So why pretend, and make the commentators look even more foolish than they already do?

10. The smoked salmon, biltong and wine are very good reasons to contemplate settling down in the southern cape.