Dr Doosra's Demented Devices

The T20 Cricket Team Owner Videogame

Not happy being just a player, coach or captain? Have we got a toy for you


© Anand Ramachandran
While there are videogames that let you be a cricket player, captain and even coach, the question is, who really wants to be any of those wimps? Everyone knows that today's ultimate cricket ambition is to become the second-most powerful figure in today's cricketing world - a team owner. Introducing T20 Cricket Team Owner 2010, the first cricket videogame that lets you step into the Jimmy Choos of the owners of the world's most expensive Twenty20 teams - so you can't lose even if your sorry team does.
1.Control buttons
Every team owner's favourite feature - control. Make your players RUN (errands for your spoilt-brat kids), JUMP (through hoops to amuse your high-society friends), DUCK (any pesky questions about your interference) and DANCE (to your tunes, or, if you own the Chennai team, Sivamani's)
2. Directional pad
Unlike in conventional video games, the D-Pad in T20 CTO performs the function of giving the team owner an opportunity to provide constant input, so that the team has no direction whatsoever.
3. Save Game button
This button is disabled if you're playing as Kings XI Punjab, since they do not have the ability to save games.
4. Power button
This button only works if you're playing as Lalit Modi, since nobody else has access to power.
5. Party-based gameplay
Use all your skills (strategic planning or brute force, it's up to you) to ensure that all your star players attend the after party, even if they're injured or ill. Then ensure that they get enough rest by missing matches, so that they can get fit for the next bash.
6. Choose your character
Play as different kinds of team owners. Choose from "wife of rich guy who wants to give her something to do so she stops nagging him", "rich, overweight old guy with a perma-youth delusion", or "clueless corporate guy who doesn't know or care about sport, but enjoys the thrills of rights-management and merchandising".

Anand Ramachandran is a writer and humourist based in Mumbai. He blogs at bosey.co.in