"So dull is he, tapes of the Willis delivery should be sold in Mothercare as a sleeping aid for fractious toddlers."
Jim White explains the usefulness of Bob Willis's voice on the Sky TV commentary team

"I know who you are and I am coming to get you - start running."
Ian Botham leaves a message for the muggers who stole his daughter's mobile phone in Port Elizabeth

"I'm certainly not able to function 100%, because I sleep too much."
Stephen Fleming introspects

"Emotive crap."
Giles Clarke, the man responsible for the ECB's TV deal, on claims that counties will spend the extra income on salaries for overseas players

"It was ironic that at about the time the new deal was announced ... the agency, Athletes1, were bandying around a list of 80 or so overseas players ready and waiting to take up county positions."
Michael Atherton flags that there might be some truth in the "emotive crap" Clarke refers to

"There'll always be people in all walks of life who can't afford certain things."
Durham chairman Clive Leach sympathises with those arguing that they wouldn't see cricket as they couldn't pay a BSkyB subscription

"If England fire a rifle, I want to fire a cannon. If they fire a peashooter, I want us to be firing a bazooka."
Ray Jennings, South Africa's coach, reveals the way the plans to tackle Steve Harmison

"Put it this way, 9994 runs, if you stick a decimal point in the middle of those figures it's the same as Sir Don Bradman's Test average."
Mark Richardson puts things in perspective after missing out on 10,000 first-class runs

"If there is a good thing about losing it can be the kick up the arse a team needs when maybe you're getting just a little bit too clever."
Michael Vaughan reflects on England's defeat in a warm-up match

"I've made a couple of comments before about that joker and he's not the type of person you should take seriously."
Kevin Mitchell, the Gabba curator, has a go at John Bracewell and his conspiracy theories

"I have a Test bowling average that is better than Sir Richard Hadlee's, and a 50-50 record in the end-of-series running race."
Mark Richardson lists his achievements after announcing his retirement from all forms of cricket

"I'm gonna turn on the heat, make him or break him ... no soft option."
South Africa's coach Ray Jennings on Jacques Kallis

"Obviously when you have other sub-standard teams across the world, then surely Australia will end up being the No. 1 team."
Javed Miandad puts things into perspective

"I am quite happy to be leaving and going on to Johannesburg for what is the exciting leg of the winter."
Michael Vaughan bids a fond farewell to Zimbabwe

"[He asked] why I would want to waste money on an expensive restaurant when you could get perfectly adequate food for a quarter of the price in a cheap restaurant. It was a small example, but it was the moment I knew something had gone very wrong and it disturbed me. I couldn't get the idea out of my head he would rather eat a burger than have a very pleasant meal."
Gary Kirsten explains how Hansie Cronje's eating preferences proved telling

"It has been their failure to show the slightest respect for faithful supporters sitting in extreme discomfort in the stands. Just for a day, Dalmiya and his merry men should be made to swap places, toilets and refreshments with those they are supposed to be serving, those who ultimately pay the bills."
Peter Roebuck argues that the Indian board treat ordinary spectators with virtual contempt

"Come on, his sleeves are absolutely unique."
A female fan in Kolkata explains how to recognise Sachin Tendulkar

"I don't think I will ever live it down if I come second."
Darren Lehmann speaks before his foot race with Mark Richardson ... which Richardson won

"The greatest blessing is that there is no third Test against New Zealand, preventing further ridicule and plummeting ticket sales."
The plain-speaking Aussie journalist Malcolm Conn on the one-sided New Zealand series

"Nothing bad can happen to us if we're on a plane in India with Sachin Tendulkar on it."
Hashim Amla, the South African batsman, reassures himself as he boards a flight

"Absolute crap. The only thing it shows is India's power at the ICC table."
Former England captain Michael Atherton on the ICC's claim that its decision to overrule Sourav Ganguly's two-match ban shows its "independence"

"What a steaming pile of hypocrisy all round. Another piece of horse manure in our time."
The Guardian's Kevin Mitchell on the resolution to the journalists' dispute in Zimbabwe

"The leadership of the ECB seems to be inhabiting a separate, hermetically sealed universe ... and their handling of the Zimbabwe issue has produced such a crescendo of blunders and betrayals of principle that only they can fail to appreciate what an unqualified condemnation of their mismanagement it is."
Hugh McIlvanney slams the English board

"The South Africans really struggled to understand the principle of the whole thing. They're very competitive and they took it a bit seriously . . . because I lost, it goes down in the record book as an unofficial dead heat."
Mark Richardson recalls his only defeat at the end-of-tour race against Neil McKenzie

"We have sympathy with the people here but the ECB is in business ... our trade is cricket and the revenue part of our trade is international cricket."
As if it wasn't obvious to everyone, ECB chairman David Morgan highlights the board's priorities

"Once again, the ICC have shown themselves to be weak, pathetic and useless. They have been tinkering with laws of the game which have served cricket well for more than 100 years while turning a blind eye to atrocities in one of their own member countries."
Ian Botham comes out firing at cricket's leaders

"I've been starting Haydos up that it's like him scoring 500."
On the day he received a $10,000 cheque from his bat sponsor, Glenn McGrath can't resist baiting his team-mates

"It looks more suitable for growing carrots."
ICC grounds inspector Andy Atkinson gives his honest opinion about Bermuda's new pitch

"We look up to them a lot but female cricketers should be recognised for themselves, not as the equivalent of Mark Waugh or Steve Waugh or Matthew Hayden or anybody." Kate Blackwell, one half of Australian cricket's new twins on the block, is not so keen to invite comparisons with her male counterparts

"If he'd fielded at slip off his own bowling he'd probably have 130 by now."
Mark Taylor speaks of Shane Warne's slip catching after Warne had snapped up his 99th catch in Test cricket

"There has to be a very serious dilemma about representing your country on the cricket field in a land where people are suffering so much at the hands of their government."
Mike Gatting, who led an England rebel tour to South Africa during apartheid, on visiting Zimbabwe

"To be heaped with praise over the years and having been named in the best teams in the world then be called a chucker is an absolute insult."
Former New Zealand wicketkeeper turned commentator Ian Smith slams the ICC's finding that by its existing rules, almost all bowlers throw the ball

"Without a massive amount of pace on this tour we've got to look at other ways to skin the cat, and there's not a lot, to be honest."
New Zealand's captain, Stephen Fleming looks forward with trepidation to the first Test against Australia

"Of all the team-mates I play with at Victoria, Hampshire and Australia I was disappointed with a few of them. Very disappointed. I worked out who my real friends were."
Shane Warne expresses his dismay over the lack of support he received from some quarters during his 12-month ban for taking a banned substance

"I think it might [create confusion]. How does an umpire tell if it's 12 degrees, 10 degrees, nine, 13, 14, whatever it is when it happens like that?"
Shane Warne questions the ICC's proposal to change the definition of a legal delivery

"I am not going to be doing victory laps with four-for against that particular New Zealand side."
Stuart MacGill spells out exactly how much regard he has for the New Zealand squad currently in Australia

"I'm just so pleased to have been given the chance."
Yorkshire's Nick Thornicroft is excited about his winter prospects. He has just received the call-up... to be a pig farmer

"It's funny what you can do when there's love and care around."
South Africa's new coach Ray Jennings gets all misty-eyed

"Thank God for the thriving DVD piracy trade on the subcontinent is about all I can say."
New Zealand's Mark Richardson is less than complimentary about life in Bangladesh

"I don't want the guys to be scared of failing. I want them to fail. Life is about failing. It's the way you learn."
Ray Jennings prepares to fail

"My family called me Bunny because I ate lots of carrots."
Nasser Hussain reveals his inner secret

"The reality of history suggests that John Howard has about as much chance of becoming the Test captain as the Kiwis have of beating Australia."
Journalist Malcolm Conn starts the Kiwi baiting

"Either those responsible are incompetent or some malfeasance was involved. It is hard to avoid thinking that the wretchedness of the pitch was a deliberate ploy by a community desperate to secure a consolation victory. Fortunately, the hosts were hoist by their own petard."
Peter Roebuck , writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, attacks preparations for the Mumbai Test

"[Kerry] Packer's priority has only ever been his own prosperity, not cricket's. In the past year, Packer has appeared happy to suck the game dry and give very little back ... It makes you wonder whom cricket belongs to: Packer or the people."
Wisden Australia's editor Christian Ryan shoots from the hip in the new Almanack's editorial

"When Justin Langer finds his off stump akimbo he leaves the crease only after asking the met office whether any earthquakes have been recorded in the region. In any case, he never edges the ball. It's just that his bat handle keeps breaking."
Peter Roebuck says cricketers come in all shapes and sizes. Some walk while others, like Langer, don't

"Medical investigations have revealed intra-articular pathology of the right hip joint noted by increased synovial fluid accumulation."
Well, that clears that up then. A BCCI press release sheds light on Sourav Ganguly's likely non-appearance in the fourth Test at Mumbai

"No. 11 is the probably the toughest place to bat. There are days when I'm hitting them well and the guy at the other end gets out. There must be a massive innings coming up to even everything all up."
Glenn McGrath (career average: 6.50) talks up his batting prowess ahead of his 100th Test appearance

"I've been called every name under the sun in the middle. I think it's built in my character."
Kevin Pietersen reveals the affection county players have for him

"I will not walk. The umpire has a job to do, I will wait for his decision."
A steadfast Mohammad Kaif stands his ground on the issue of marching orders

"That night I had great difficulty sleeping. The abuse I was sure to get on the field the next day chilled me to the bone."
Gary Kirsten relives the time he unwittingly attempted to chat up a posse of Australian cricketers' wives and girlfriends on the 1993-94 tour Down Under. Shane Warne has called him "Tom Cruise" ever since

"If there was no television, there would be no huddle on a cricket ground."
Michael Holding on air during the Faisalabad Test

"I wouldn't like to spend time in an Indian jail if I am innocent."
Words of wisdom from Herschelle Gibbs

"It would be wonderful if it came to pass. I'd do it for nothing."
Daryll Cullinan reacts positively to the prospect of a Test recall, three years after pulling out of the side because of a contract dispute

"If people choose to do that, we don't want them at the Academy and likewise the counties don't want them either."
Rod Marsh shoots from the hip, as he criticises Graham Wagg for his cocaine abuse

"There's racism all over the world, and the fact that you can categorically state that there is no racism in Zimbabwe cricket is a joke."
Stuart Carlisle, one of the 15 Zimbabwe rebel cricketers, expresses his outrage at the ICC's dismissal of their claims of racism against the ZCU

"If something happens, Michael, and you lead a side out there and someone gets killed, it will tarnish English cricket and your name for a long while."
Nasser Hussain issues a stark warning to Michael Vaughan on the perils of leading England to Zimbabwe

"If the players expect soft drinks, I will make sure there are none. They will go to a tap and get on their knees and drink water until they realise that it is an honour to play for South Africa."
Ray Jennings, the new South African coach, lays down the rules for the team

"The ICC should patent their latest invention - mucky whitewash. They poured several bucketsful over the awful mess which masquerades as official Zimbabwe cricket."
Player turned commentator Jack Bannister guarantees his VIP invitation to the next ICC Awards

"The UCBSA put its faith in me to jack up the team ... I think there are a couple of players who need their butts kicked."
South Africa's new coach Ray Jennings shows why he has a reputation for not mincing his words

"It's a team game but when you get an individual record like that it's a pretty major one so hopefully I can get it this game. Otherwise I'd be pretty frustrated by the end of the five days. I'll be jumping off the nearest bridge."
Shane Warne reveals how desperate he is to get the record

"I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not."
The late Keith Miller puts life in perspective

"If somebody still harboured hopes, Billy Bowden -- who should be in a circus and not the Elite umpires' panel -- ended that with an executioner's job on Virender Sehwag."
Sourav Ganguly might have forgiven Billy Bowden for a shocking decision, but Lokendra Pratap Sahi of Calcutta's Telegraph wasn't about to

"Sachin Tendulkar is, in my time, the best player without doubt - daylight second, Brian Lara third."
Shane Warne delights the Indian press with his views on batting greats of this era

"That sounds like a commentator's comment, doesn't it? There's probably a key lost down there."
John Buchanan, Australia's coach, finds himself talking in journalese as he describes how the Bangalore wicket is likely to disintegrate over the course of the first Test

"As long as it is run by a barbaric regime who sponsor genocide and starvation, we shouldn't be going near the place."
Ian Botham, never one to mince his words, makes plain his thoughts on England's tour to Zimbabwe

"Nothing against Indian food and all that, but I get sick over here. Hopefully, I'm better prepared this time. I've got my protein shakes, a few tins of spaghetti, a few tins of beans, I've got some cereal. Some people don't like seafood, I just don't like curries."
Shane Warne has added tinned spaghetti to his baked bean supplies for the tour of India

"I am not going to comment on the book. I don't even read cricket books."
The leader of the free cricket world, Malcolm Speed, on Nasser Hussain's autobiography

"Let me get this right: Zimbabwe can drop 13 white players because of a racially motivated dispute; England can rest four players for legitimate reasons of exhaustion and they will be financially hounded in the courts. Anybody who believes that is as it should be has clearly lost all sense of perspective."
The Guardian's David Hopps argues vehemently against political interference in selection policy ... both in Zimbabwe and in England

"If the plane had left this morning I'd have gone, but there's still a long way to go and a lot of things can happen."
Darren Gough reveals his uncertainties ahead of England's tour of Zimbabwe, and hints that the ECB may not have heard the last of this saga just yet

"I didn't want to go then - so why should I want to go now?"
Andrew Flintoff confirms that he never had any intention of going to Zimbabwe. In the end, he was given a break by the selectors

"My house has been blown down but if you guys win for me tomorrow, it really doesn't matter. I'd be the happiest woman in the world."
A fan in the Caribbean phones Tony Howard, West Indies' manager, on the eve of the Champions Trophy final. After that, victory was a formality

"We all lay in our beds very comfortably while our people in the Caribbean were fighting for their lives. It was the catalyst for this very young team, for what they achieved in England over the past three weeks."
Brian Lara explains the motivation behind West Indies' inspired performance in the Champions Trophy final at The Oval

"As long as Shoaib doesn't hit me again, a couple more years."
Brian Lara when asked how long he has left in the game

"He'd say one thing one day and then suddenly he'd be saying that the same bloke he had been pushing for a year was now complete rubbish."
Nasser Hussain takes a swipe at Ian Botham's input into selection meetings

"I'm all for democracy but you really have to draw a line and have the courage of your own convictions."
Nasser Hussain reveals his dictatorial colours as he lambasts England's chairman of selectors, David Graveney, for his indecisive selection policy

"I rarely notice when I'm in the nineties, because it's not a key to my performance. But when I'm batting with Justin [Langer], I always know our partnership score."
Matthew Hayden puts the Bush-Blair special relationship in the shade, as he talks up the importance of Australia's opening pair

"If you get Dravid, great. If you get Sachin, brilliant. If you get Laxman, it's a miracle."
Brett Lee repeats the words of wisdom of his former captain, Steve Waugh

"In terms of the battering we have received from everyone in the past few months and then doing it against England, who smashed us in seven of the eight Tests, is pretty special."
Brian Lara reflects on the sweet taste of victory after Ian Bradshaw and Courtney Browne pulled off a near-miracle at The Oval

"He's a wonderful bowler, but he's mentally lazy and, after the World Cup euphoria, slipped into a comfort zone. He needs to lose weight and get fitter. He didn't do enough running."
Former Australian fast bowler Bruce Reid gives Inside Edge his thoughts on Zaheer Khan

"Maybe I was a little bit excited, as in eight previous matches I never bowled against him before, and I am sorry I hit him."
Shoaib Akhtar feels bad after felling Brian Lara during the ICC Champions Trophy semi-final

"I felt I was batting with a straw for the first 20 balls."
Michael Vaughan, after his matchwinning 86 against Australia in the Champions Trophy semi-final at Edgbaston

"I would rather see England win than the other two sides that are left."
Ricky Ponting after the semi-final defeat at Edgbaston

"Lancashire's relegation ensures late cheer."
The headline in The Yorkshire Post shows that the Wars of the Roses didn't end in 1487

"We heard him jest with a caller, asking him to show him his 'wife'."
Parthiv Patel's uncle, Jagat, plays down rumours that his nephew has done a Britney Spears, and got married by accident

"It was washed down with a bit of Jack Daniels!"
Herschelle Gibbs elaborates on the famous pizza that brought him back to form with a century against West Indies

"At the ICC Champions Trophy, one-day cricket has become one-way cricket."
Simon Briggs in the Daily Telegraph after Australia's match against New Zealand was almost as one-sided as all the previous games

"We are not vigilantes, we are not holding people to ransom."
New Zealand's Chris Cairns on the "cash for autographs" affair. Some New Zealanders have been accused of charging fans for signatures

"They're sort of like the bullies of the show, in that they throw their weight around in a psychological sense and try to grab the upper hand before the game's even started."
Scott Styris's take on Australia's tactics

"Sometimes, people think it's like polo, played on horseback, and I remember one guy thought it was a game involving insects."
USA slugger Clayton Lambert highlights the problems of explaining cricket to Americans

"I hope they can learn something - but I am not sure that they will."
Ricky Ponting questions the inclusion of USA in the Champions Trophy

"More than Sehwag's form, it is his attitude that's now the worry, for the manner in which he approached the innings bordered on the indifferent."
Sunil Gavaskar is dismayed by Virender Sehwag's batting against Kenya

"The tournament is being organised at the time when most games will be disrupted by weather. The event is only being held because it had to be organised. There is no other objective except to earn money."
Javed Miandad slams the timing of the ICC Champions Trophy

"Please don't make me out to be a cad."
Perish the thought, Mark ... Mark Nicholas, the "smooth-as-silk TV presenter", reacts to revelations about his private life in the Daily Mail

"It's a few years since [I] did some damage to the English bowling and as you get older you tend to lose some of that talent and I'm not sure the crowds will see the same fireworks."
Former West Indies opener, now USA middle-order slogger, Clayton Lambert shows that he has mastered the arts of self-promotion and the hard sell

"The United States beat Zimbabwe chasing 270 in 48 overs. That will shake our guys out of any complacency I can assure you - and, if it doesn't, it bloody well should."
John Bracewell hits out after New Zealand lost their warm-up match against Sri Lanka

"Maybe they should try looking on E-Bay."
Clare Skinner, communications officer for MCC, suggests a logical starting point for police investigations into the theft of 3000 umpires' coats from a garage in Kent

"I don't need more awards ... I already have the world record."
Muttiah Muralitharan takes his exclusion from the ICC's World XI on the chin

"I am pleased to hear that he is making good progress in writing interesting columns."
John Wright's reaction when asked about Javagal Srinath's recent criticism of the team's performance

"He's not there much at the moment, he's usually out in the middle."
Michael Vaughan, when asked about the effect that Andrew Flintoff has been having on the England dressing-room

"I don't know ... but I do know I've drunk them all."
Andrew Flintoff when asked how many bottles of champagne he has won as Man of the Match in ODIs

"It is high time we made it a law that when a toss is won, we must bat."
Kris Srikkanth's take on India's decision to field first in the second match of the NatWest Challenge at The Oval

"It's brilliant, I can't say any more than that."
Alex Wharf keeps his feelings under wraps after his England call-up

"The fielding, often geriatric during the one-day disappointments of earlier in the summer, seemed to have received a dose of Viagra."
Mike Dickson of the Daily Mail on England's out-cricket

"The Indian batsmen definitely owe an apology to their fans."
Javagal Srinath hits out after India's loss to England in the first match of the NatWest Challenge

"The Asia Cup telecast was a case in point. There was a teapot bobbing up and down on the screen and at one time the viewers could not see whether a catch was taken or not."
Campbell Jamieson, the ICC's commercial manager, bemoans the increased intrusion of adverts into TV coverage

"The thing about India is that while they will miss Sachin, they have the ability to put out another batsman nearly as good."
Michael Vaughan gives overestimation a new meaning before the first match of the NatWest Challenge

"I'm not a fan of that sort of stuff. It's hard enough for the umpires to concentrate on what's going on without a lot of things going off in their ears."
Ricky Ponting feels that the experiments with technology might pose many teething problems for the umpires

"It's already something special to play in 100 matches, but in my case it's even better, because I've worked 10 years for this."
Nicky Boje expresses his delight

"We don't want to raise the level of expectation too high. While you are riding the board you don't want to come crashing off and end up chewing sand."
John Bracewell's reaction when told that New Zealand had won 13 of their last 15 one-dayers

"Pat Symcox did three weeks' commentary work on the Asia Cup - prior to our tour to Sri Lanka. Yet nobody took the trouble to phone Pat and pick his brain about the conditions and the Sri Lankan team. That is pathetic."
Fanie de Villiers laments that the South African team isn't making use of the available know-how

"Why not? Someone's got to do it."
Bob Woolmer's reply when asked if Australia can be beaten in the final at Amsterdam

"There must surely be young wicketkeepers in India, hiding somewhere, waiting to come out. We have to discover them."
Farokh Engineer on the dearth of good specialist wicketkeepers in India

"When people say I'm a subcontinental specialist, I say it's nice to be special at something"
Michael Kasprowicz gets philosophical

"I don't believe there is any connection between my wicketkeeping and my batting."
Rahul Dravid reacts to suggestions that his wicketkeeping is affecting his batting

"I just have to be patient. I've found myself rushing and I don't need to rush. I score freely anyway."
Andrew Symonds on getting back into the Test team

"I hit my first batsman in the first game: Bradman Edirweera. First I hit him on the helmet and the next ball I had him caught."
Lasith Malinga started his career so promisingly that he even had Bradman in trouble

"[Lara] has also had the great misfortune to be captaining the West Indies at their lowest ebb. Captain Ahab couldn't stop this ship from sinking."
Michael Atherton on the problems Brian Lara faced

"I think the important thing about this competition is that we've never won it."
Matthew Hayden's take on the Champions Trophy

"Cut it off, lad - you've got a Test match to win."
Geoffrey Boycott's advice to Graham Thorpe, whose fractured little finger had threatened his participation in England's third-Test run-chase. Fortunately, he wasn't called upon

"It's strokes like these that help me hear the clanging chimes of doom for Ridley Jacobs."
Mark Nicholas foretells the end for Ridley as Carlton Baugh brings up his first half-century for West Indies with a stylish drive through the covers at Old Trafford

"Steve Waugh had once said that 'If we get Laxman, it's a miracle'."
Brett Lee reiterates the Australians' awe for VVS Laxman

"Gussie, you know I'm not the sort who says much in the middle."
With only a hint of sarcasm, Glenn McGrath corrects Angus Fraser's impression of him

"I can categorically state that Shane did not say anything inappropriate about my mother."
Ronnie Irani, Essex's captain, refutes claims in Friday's Daily Mail that Shane Warne called his mother a "whore", during their Division Two match at the Rose Bowl

"It was like being defeated and I am not one of those who stays on the canvas. I wanted to get back up and bop him on the chin."
England's Gareth Batty recalls the feeling when he was the bowler as Brian Lara reached his 400 in Antigua in April

"My prediction? 3-0."
Glenn McGrath's prediction for next year's Ashes shows he is unfazed by all the talk of England's revival

"I'm glad I didn't catch it now because he would have laughed so much that it would have been the end of his innings."
Colin Flintoff, Andrew's dad, sees the brighter side after muffing a catch in the stands at Edgbaston

"He's no Javed Miandad ... We had already won on the penultimate ball."
Sourav Ganguly's reaction when asked if he thought Nuwan Zoysa would hit the last ball for a six and win the match for Sri Lanka

"He may not quite have made the leap ... to Hedley Verity status but he has certainly left wheelie-binnery far behind."
Henry Blofeld makes a public apology to Ashley Giles, after years of jocular comments about his bowling action and effectiveness

"Any time the West Indies lose, I cry."
Lance Gibbs, the former West Indian offspinner and world-record Test wicket-taker

"Everybody likes an underdog, and every dog has its day."
Ashley Giles on the about-turn in his fortunes after winning the Man-of-the-Match award at Lord's

"It's a bit like training for an attempt on Everest by jogging upstairs and planting a flag on the landing. The unstoppable juggernaut has been replaced by the circus clown's car - one parp on the horn and all the doors fall off."
The Daily Telegraph's Martin Johnson makes clear his view of West Indies as Ashes preparation for England

"Mind the windows, Tino!"
Andrew Flintoff gives Tino Best some helpful advice from slip, as West Indies battle to save the first Test at Lord's. Two balls later, he missed with a wild swing and was stumped

"It's fantastic for Keysey, it's not fantastic for me. I'm a bit gutted. I'd be inhuman if I wasn't."
After 42 consecutive Tests, Mark Butcher faces up to the prospect of a spell on the sidelines, following the phenomenal success of his stand-in, Robert Key

"She said that I wasn't quite right at the moment."
Andrew Flintoff, nursing an injured foot, reveals the Queen's knowledge of cricket when she met both teams during the first Test between England and West Indies

"My son is having to play in borrowed boots and trousers. If it had been the England team they would have walked the journey with the misplaced luggage."
Mrs Leoni Nel, the mother of the Scotland fast bowler, Dewald, accuses British Airways of treating her son like a second-class citizen, after his kit went missing en route to Holland. BA dismissed the claims as "absolute rubbish"

"I don't know what they are trying to tell us, but it looks like they are expecting things to end early." Tony Howard, West Indies' team manager, on the ECB's decision to hand the visitors just four days'-worth of tickets for the first Test, instead of the customary five

"We never give more than that - it makes 'em soft."
Graham Tindall, chairman of Lancashire League club St Annes, on why he never offers overseas players more than one-year contracts

"I picked up the ball and said: 'Is this the great Graham Thorpe? Stop backing away, try and get in line mate.' He said 'Bring it on, Besty'."
Tino Best reveals what was said shortly before his first Test wicket

"I think Shane will bowl first somehow."
Cameron White, Shane Warne's fellow legspinner in the Victorian side, reveals the pecking order after being appointed as the state's captain

"Every time there's been a script written, I've just about done it. I suppose I'm allowed one that I don't get every now and then."
Shane Warne reflects on the one that got away, as the outright world record eludes him against Sri Lanka at Cairns

"He turns round to Kaluwitharana and asks him what I'm bowling. Kalu says offspin. Border hits the next one, but he's not confident. He asks Dean Jones, the non-striker, what I'm doing, and he says legbreaks."
Muttiah Muralitharan recalls Allan Border's reaction on facing him for the first time, in 1992

"There is a popular misconception that umpires are a refuge of time-warp-locked geriatrics waiting for a listing in Genesis."
Barrie Stuart-King, chairman of the Association of Cricket Umpires and Scorers, tells it as it is

"We know that we worked hard and put in 100% effort [at Darwin]. We will put in 150% effort on Friday [at Cairns] and see what we can come up with."
Mahela Jayawardene's statement ahead of the second Test gives one an indication of what it takes to beat these Aussies

"We need a meeting of minds to see if Tests still work."
Darren Millien, West Indies Cricket Board's chief marketing officer, questions the relevance of Test cricket in the modern world

"I've got no idea who I'm playing for tomorrow ... but it doesn't really matter; the point is I'm here and I am having an interesting experience."
Former Australian international Colin Miller on life in the American ProCricket League

"It turned out we were all sacked three times in a month. Can that have happened anywhere before?"
Stuart Carlisle tries to explain the unique situation in their country

"They are rubbish wickets really."
Scott Styris the New Zealand allrounder, fulsome in his praise of the pitches in England

"One-day cricket is dead and buried for me now. It would be a huge backward step for England to pick me again."
Graham Thorpe rebuffs a request from David Graveney to rethink his one-day retirement

"We can win games without Andrew Flintoff and we will win games without Andrew Flintoff."
Michael Vaughan lays down the state of play. Less than three days later England's selectors summoned a semi-fit Flintoff to help bail them out

"I came over here to play cricket and to get a chance of looking round Europe."
James Franklin reveals his original off-season plans in England before called up to the New Zealand Test and one-day teams

"I wouldn't be surprised if I just had a suntan after a couple of weeks, but you can't really complain about that, can you?"
Stuart MacGill talks down his prospects of getting a game, after earning a late call-up to Australia's squad for the first Test against Sri Lanka at Darwin

"He keeps chucking me the ball, which is an absolute pain in the arse."
Darren Lehmann on his Yorkshire captain, and brother-in-law, Craig White, who made sure Lehmann got through plenty of overs this county season

"There were thousands of them, apparently attracted by the colour. Not everybody had their dark blue uniform with them, so we had several players wearing the same name and number."
David Byas, Yorkshire's director of cricket, explains why a change of kit was needed after a swarm of insects took fancy to the county's one-day strip

"There is still five-six months to go for the team to play a Test match. Presently the team will play in the one-dayers. After seeing the form of the players in the one-dayers, we will decide on the second opener's slot."
Sourav Ganguly gets his sums wrong and seems to forget that Australia arrive in October for a four-match Test series

"It [the Caribbean] is an incredible place and, whatever people say, will be a fantastic venue for the World Cup. So what if a plane's a bit late and you hang around an airport for a few hours or the PA system at the ground is up the spout?"
Michael Vaughan supports the decision to stage the 2007 World Cup in West Indies

"Why's that guy leaving? He can't just go - is he fed up with it?"
The former Wimbledon champion, Venus Williams, shows her bemusement as she watches a wicket fall during a club match in Richmond

"Most of us lefties were always complaining of the Harmison hit - a purple bruise on the hip and thigh."
Mark Richardson looks back with painful memories on New Zealand's Test series against England

"This is a clear breach of contract, which I consider unethical."
Javed Miandad makes plain his feelings, after being sacked as Pakistan's coach

"I haven't seen it. I am a bit of a purist; a bit of a snob. I like to see technique. I like to see the aesthetic beauty of the game."
Frank Tyson's take on Twenty20 cricket

"Good luck to them. While we're not allowed to do it in New Zealand, they're obviously allowed to do it over here. Our policy is to produce the best cricket wickets possible, not ones that suit the home team."
John Bracewell, New Zealand's coach, suggests that the recent Test wickets were tailored to suit England

"I was brought up to be wary of people who pick up their bat and go home. Muralitharan has played all these Tests and taken all these cheap wickets, like against the Zimbabwe 2nd XI, but now he is not fronting up when the going gets tough."
Dennis Lillee has his say after Murali announced his decision to skip the Australian tour

"I take great pride in playing for my country, but there comes a time when if you feel no-one wants you, you wonder why you do it."
Ashley Giles reveals he came close to quitting before playing a vital role in England's third Test victory at Trent Bridge

"I just want some quiet time, sit up there especially with Flem [Stephen Fleming] and Nathan [Astle], have a couple of drinks and just talk garbage."
Chris Cairns reveals his plans for the evening after playing his final Test

"In the one-day side I believe I've done everything I can and it seems it's not enough."
Chris Read reacts to his omission from the one-day squad for the NatWest Series

"I think he should just grow up, get on with it and go out there and play."
Shane Warne has a say on the confusion over Muttiah Muralitharan touring Australia

"I think he's the first of the modern players to really show the strain of being a professional. cricketer."
Bob Simpson cites a factor that affected Michael Slater's career

"We found Rob Nicol, the Auckland batsman, on the terraces this afternoon, luckily before he went to the bar."
John Bracewell after New Zealand's desperate search for substitute fielders in the second Test against England at Headingley

"Another long day at the office - too long, I reckon."
Mark Butcher bemoans the regulations which meant that the hours of play at Headingley were extended to make up for lost time. The fourth day started at 11am and finished shortly after 7.30pm

"Why should every pitch mirror all the others? That's crap."
David Byas, Yorkshire's blunt-talking director of cricket, dismisses suggestions that tracks should be prepared to favour turn and so encourage England's young spinners

"Today is a memorable day and I am happier today than I was when I scored the triple century, because my university has organised a special function to award a degree to a single student."
Virender Sehwag is in an ecstatic mood after being awarded his Bachelor of Arts degree

"The whole Zimbabwe fiasco ... was a low point for world cricket, the ICC and the ECB. All that happened ... was a complete shemozzle. I think the way the ICC handled that situation was diabolical."
Nasser Hussain vents his fury in an interview on Sky TV

"I admit I am selfish"
Nasser Hussain in confessional mood after retiring from all forms of the game

"Trescothick should go back to Somerset and learn how to play again."
Shane Warne starts the sledging, with the Ashes a year away

"If I get one more, I don't think it will be goodnight to cricket, it might be goodnight to Mark Vermeulen."
Mark Vermeulen, who has already copped three bouncers on the head, on the likely repercussions of another blow

"Formula One racing is real-world proof of chaos theory. As is Zimbabwe, but without the same number of hotties trackside."
John Birmingham, noted Australian author and columnist

"My friend was saying Pakistan this and Pakistan that so I asked him to put his money where his mouth is."
Jake Caratella from Leicester explains how a friend of his bet - and lost - £50,000 on Pakistan beating India in the recent Test and one-day series

"I don't want to see a young lad who got 200 [runs] in a game left out for me."
Nasser Hussain puts forward one of the reasons for retirement after his matchwinning hundred at Lord's

"I had a close mate to come in next and he told me to stop whingeing and get on with it."
Hussain explains how Graham Thorpe helped him to refocus, after running Andrew Strauss out for 83 at Lord's

"Personally, I'm very disappointed because I went there to play cricket. I don't think you can ever say they're cheapened runs in Test cricket."
Justin Langer frets about his batting average, as Australia's Test players fly home from Zimbabwe

"I don't really need to say too much about that. Generally the people out on the pitch are the ones who know how to play the game, not the people who are writing about it."
Marcus Trescothick's answer when asked why he didn't take the second new ball on the fourth afternoon

"Sometimes I wish I was Adam Gilchrist."
Mark Richardson makes a candid confession after his six-hour 93 on the first day of the Lord's Test

"Boy George would be considered straight at the University of Western Australia."
Kerry O'Keeffe on the controversial tests done on Muttiah Muralitharan

"At 10 for 2, I've done it for you."
Nasser Hussain comes over all poetic as he defends his reputation as a nuggetty Test batsman

"I did it in the last series against Smith because we saw an emotion that we could tap into ... I won't be doing it to Marcus."
Stephen Fleming shows his magnanimity and spares Trescothick the treatment which he meted out to Graeme Smith earlier this year

"We just have to be careful what we say about Mugabe. I've got no big deal about it, I'm just there to watch the cricket and I don't give a rat's arse what he does about his country."
Dean Jones, Fox Sports commentator and former Australian batsman adopts the ostrich approach to the Zimbabwe crisis

"Well, that's fine - so you do have a record of 10 others that are worse or 12 others that are worse."
ZCU chairman Peter Chingoka misses the point after it was pointed out that Zimbabwe's two massive defeats by Sri Lanka were among the worst dozen in Test history

"It is quite surprising that one is unfit in Pakistan and by reaching England gets fit overnight."
Shaharyar Khan, the PCB chairman, is piqued at Shoaib Akhtar playing for Durham immediately after landing in England

"Do we want to be breaking Bradman's records in these circumstances?"
An unnamed Cricket Australia offical when asked about the Tests against Zimbabwe

"I'm confused. Really, really confused."
After arriving in Zimbabwe, Adam Gilchrist is no longer sure about his stand on touring the country

"The Murali issue has blown out of proportion because of various remarks by various politicians."
Ehsan Mani responds to the Sri Lankan and Australian prime ministers' comments

"This august body [the ICC] appears to have resorted to what amounts to industrial blackmail. It is more concerned with embarrassing England than the poisonous Robert Mugabe, whose policies have turned current international cricket in Zimbabwe into a mockery."
The Independent's Henry Blofeld takes a swipe at the ICC

"That was the first legal delivery he bowled - that's my personal opinion."
Dion Ebrahim reacts to the orthodox legbreak he received from Muttiah Muralitharan on the first day at Bulawayo. He was handed a one-Test ban for his observation

"Yes. They proved it in Perth, too, with that [biomechanics video] thing."
The Australian prime minister John Howard's reply when asked whether Muralitharan throws

"It must be nice living in John's myopic world where the only worry is if the weather is fine enough for cricket. Not for him the anguish of contemplating thousands of murdered men as the bloodthirsty madness of president Robert Mugabe pushes Zimbabwe to oblivion."
Fox Sports' Ray Chesterton slams John Buchanan's stance on touring Zimbabwe

"I just don't think that will happen, I don't think we'll bat for long enough, to start with, for that to happen in this series."
Ricky Ponting dismisses the prospect of Matthew Hayden reclaiming the world record for the Test score in Zimbabwe

"The ZCU has brought politics into cricket. Imagine if the German soccer team decided it was only going to pick Aryans."
Aussie cricket writer Gideon Haigh on the Zimbabwe situation

"I think a lot of people realise that they are between the biggest rock in the world and the hardest of hard places."
Glamorgan's chief executive, Mike Fatkin, expresses his sympathy for the ECB's predicament over Zimbabwe

"It makes a joke of the game and it makes me sick talking about it. Everyone knows he bowls illegally."
Former Australia batsman Barry Jarman doesn't join the celebrations for Muttiah Muralitharan's world record. Jarman was the first ICC match referee to raise suspicions about Murali's action

"I'm not a politician and I don't run English cricket, so the decision is not up to me."
Darren Gough makes his feelings clear about England's tour of Zimbabwe

"My personal opinion [is] that we would prefer them not to go. But there is a difference between doing that and ordering them not to go, which I think would step over the proper line. I think many people however believe - I think rightly - that the problem actually resides with the ICC."
British prime minister Tony Blair on whether England should tour Zimbabwe

"He was not the only England bowler to be collared by the West Indies' explosive batting the other night, but he was the only 33-year-old with a dodgy knee, a tendency to pile on the pounds and the promise of a lift to matches by helicopter."
The Independent's Stephen Brenkley sees the end of the road in sight for Darren Gough

"Where is Brian Lara?"
The first question posed by Nelson Mandela, the former South African president, after his arrival in Trinidad

"There won't be any match."
Jagmohan Dalmiya pours cold water on plans to stage an India-Pakistan match in Abu Dhabi to inaugurate the Zayed Stadium

"They're mostly businessmen in their late forties, not the old farts we're used to hearing about, and they know what they're doing."
Mike Soper, the head of England's First Class Forum, tries to give the image of county chairmen a makeover

"I believe that they are honourable and decent men put in an impossible position. The board feels threatened by the ICC penalties to do what the board doesn't want to do."
The outgoing Des Wilson takes a swipe at the ICC over their stand on England's tour of Zimbabwe

"The Championship is a great competition and to muddle it up with one-day games seems completely stupid."
Mike Soper, the chairman of the First-Class Forum, is unconvinced about plans to amalgamate two county competitions into one

"If I was an Australian player I would not want to be playing substandard opposition and I'd want to have the trip postponed. If it can't be sorted out, it's the history of the game being affected."
Eddo Brandes, the former Zimbabwe fast bowler, speaks out ahead of Australia's tour

"They've really struggled against us ... we didn't even use our spinners in the last match. They'll have huge problems against the Australian attack."
John Dyson, Sri Lanka's coach, fears for Zimbabwe's new team

"The players who know their way round the front half of a newspaper will do a MacGill. Butcher and Graham Thorpe will surely stay away. Michael Vaughan will be torn but may find it a good moment to have a minor operation."
Tim de Lisle speculates on which of England's players might give Zimbabwe a miss

"I personally like to come to Mumbai whenever I can as I love this city. In fact Mumbai is my second home and I would like to come here quite often."
Shoaib Akhtar reveals some family secrets

"He was bowling at three-quarter rat power. Murali's not a dill. He knows he's under scrutiny. They are filming him so he is going to do his best - and even with his best he still can't get it right. That shows there is something wrong with his action."
Former Test umpire Ross Emerson gives his views on the tests on Muttiah Muralitharan's bowling action

"All we can do is play the side that's put out on the park and the Australian team is not really noted for going easy on any opposition."
Ricky Ponting refuses to be drawn on the moral and political implications of Australia's forthcoming tour of Zimbabwe

"The meetings we have had have been held in such a bad spirit. There have been tempers and people walking out and shouting and banging on tables."
Zimbabwe's deposed captain, Heath Streak, on the ongoing feud between the rebel players and the ZCU

"We're playing against Bangladesh and I'm not going to write off Bangladesh. The way we're playing right now you can't write off anybody at all."
Brian Lara refuses to take anything for granted ahead of West Indies' Test series against Bangladesh

"Sometimes you get so engrossed in watching batsmen like Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar that you lose focus on your job."
Yasir Hameed tries to zero in on the exact reason for dropping a vital catch in the third Test at Rawalpindi

"There's only one Papua New Guinean Welsh Aussie English Geraint Jones"
A Barmy Army banner welcomes England's debutant wicketkeeper during the Antigua Test

"I am not an angel, I have my bad days and good days. I am still learning day by day."
Shoaib Akhtar makes a candid confession after Pakistan's victory in the Lahore Test

"I feel domestic cricket is tougher than international cricket. All you need to do is spend some time in the middle and runs will automatically come."
Asim Kamal shatters some cricketing myths after his fine 73 at Lahore

"I know that a number of the team don't like Lara and that they are scared of him."
Former West Indian fast bowler Hendy Bryan plunges a knife into Brian Lara's back

"Even a common man could observe that the players were acting on a script. The body language of the players was not as it should have been."
Pakistan's former captain, Rashid Latif, casts aspersions about India's thrilling victory in the fourth ODI at Lahore

"If I had my time over again, I would never have played cricket. Why? Because of people like you. The press do nothing but criticise."
Sir Garry Sobers tells it as it is

"[There is] only one thing more to be said, with apologies to Norwegian football commentator Bjorn Minge: Lord Learie Constantine! Sir Garry Sobers! Sir Vivian Richards! Bob Marley! The Jamaican Olympic bobsleigh team! Sir Trevor McDonald - can you hear me, Sir Trevor McDonald? Your boys took one hell of a beating!"
Peter Hayter, in the Mail on Sunday, adapts a famous outburst from when Norway beat England at football

"The achievement that this team has achieved is a fantastic achievement."
Michael Vaughan loses his thread slightly at the after-match presentation in Barbados

"We've had Steve Harmison getting a seven-for, Simon Jones getting a five-for and Freddie Flintoff getting a five-for, so it was about time I pulled my finger out and did something special."
Matthew Hoggard after his hat-trick in the third Test in Barbados

"The lack of urgency is pretty evident. Even a non-cricketing person like my wife can see that."
Shahryar Khan, chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board, reacts to Pakistan's defeat at Multan

"The celebrations out there are unbelievable, and my mate Wayne Daniel is under the table."
Tony Greig loses it in the commentary box as Matthew Hoggard completes his hat-trick in Barbados

"I did not bowl long-hops, I did not play bad shots nor did I have the bat in the wrong hand while running."
Andy Atkinson hits back after being accused of preparing a docile pitch for the Multan Test

"[Irfan Pathan] is like a kid in a party, wide-eyed, waiting for the next show to begin and only just becoming aware that he is in fact that show."
Harsha Bhogle writes about India's new bowling find

"There's nothing wrong with being aggressive -- the bloke down the other end has a bat, some pads and a helmet."
The straight-talking Simon Jones makes a point on the eve of the third Test in Barbados

"It's all to do with meat ... you get a lot of aggression from beef and red meat."
Aaqib Javed, Pakistan's Under-19 coach, on the secret of being a fast bowler

"Six for the triple. It tells you all you need to know."
A single stroke takes Sehwag from 295 to 301, and Michael Slater is struck by the wonder of it all

"Well, we talked about not playing rash strokes. Of course, he hears me but I'm not sure if he ever listens."
Sachin Tendulkar talks about the advice he gave when Sehwag was on 295

"Virender Sehwag is a player of paranormal ability."
Navjot Sidhu explains the secret of Sehwag's success in a Ten Sports broadcast of India's first Test against Pakistan

"This team cannot bat through 90 overs because they can barely sit through a feature film ... the young players probably think the Three Ws was a restaurant."
BC Pires has a dig at the West Indies in The Guardian

"I am not saying the players will get any better - but they can't become any worse."
Former West Indies fast bowler Colin Croft with some words of encouragement for the current side

"Future generations will be hoodwinked into believing 'Muchichuckalot' was the best of them all. At best, his action is suspicious. At worst it belongs in a darts tournament."
Michael Parkinson doesn't beat about the bush when asked about Muttiah Muralitharan's action

"Shut up."
Inzamam-ul-Haq fixes a reporter who asked whether the fourth one-dayer at Lahore was fixed

"Someone get this guy out of the room. It's ridiculous. These sort of statements are just bad for the game."
Rahul Dravid fumes when the match-fixing topic was brought up again after the tense one-dayer

"I didn't get my action right and it didn't swing. Fortunately, the wind went whoosh!"
Matthew Hoggard reveals that his dismissal of Brian Lara in the second-innings collapse in Jamaica owed everything to a cross-field sea-breeze

"There is no authoritative leadership of the [West Indies] team. One cannot picture a Clive Lloyd or a Frank Worrell, although men of different temperaments, not exerting their full moral authority to keep the team in line. It is clear that Brian Lara does not possess like qualities.
Geof Brown writing in the Jamaica Gleaner

"I had a few rums. I felt that seven for 12 needed celebrating."
Steve Harmison explains why he ended his self-imposed ban on drinking

"Corey Collymore and Adam Sanford wouldn't bowl my mum out."
Geoffrey Boycott tucks into the West Indian pacemen as the fall-out from the first Test continues

"When people come together, go to each other's country, and watch a conflict being played out on the field of sport, as opposed to the field of battle ... then why can't that same spirit, that same philosophy, infect other aspects of relations?"
The US secretary of state, Colin Powell, expresses his hopes that India and Pakistan will develop their relationship off the pitch

"Maybe it was not simply a lack of duty or decorum that drove four of the West Indies side to join the disco party at the ground in the game's noisy aftermath, but bewilderment at the outcome. What, they might ask, are we supposed to do? Suicide?"
The Guardian's Mike Selvey on West Indies' gang of four's alleged partying in the aftermath of their defeat at Sabina Park

"If anybody had told me in 1994 that I would play 100 Tests for my country, I would have asked them what they were smoking."
Gary Kirsten on announcing the end of his ten-year Test career

"I've not had a drink for a fortnight since we arrived in the Caribbean - I might have one tonight though ..."
Bottoms up for Steve Harmison after taking 7 for 12 against West Indies

"Local expectations had been high, but now they were left in tatters like the topsails of Port-Royal pirate ships after a round of grapeshot."
The Guardian's Mike Selvey reflects on West Indies' dismal performance at Sabina Park

"Asia represents 40% of the ICC. Virtually, Asia is the ICC."
Ehsan Mani, the ICC's president, piles more pressure on the ECB as their isolation over Zimbabwe deepens

"Thorpy's not the best when he gets hit ... he usually has six months out"
Nasser Hussain jokingly questions Graham Thorpe's hard-man image

"We will try and pull the chain and stop the train midway"
Sourav Ganguly when asked how his team plan to counter Shoaib Akhtar, the 'Rawalpindi Express'

"Fleming likes to try to portray this image of a mentally tough sort of guy, that's fine ... but he's tried it in the past against our guys and come off second best.
Mark Boucher ups the ante in the war of words with New Zealand

"In a city of 140 million people such minor incidents take place due to over-demand."
Rameez Raja, chief executive of the Pakistan board, explains unrest in Karachi which ended with police baton-charging angry fans after tickets went on sale for the first ODI against India

"It's quite upsetting. There are countless more dangerous things that can be done on the field. We were only trying to get the ball back to the bowler."
Mark Butcher laments his freak injury on the opening day of England's tour match in Jamaica

"You expect a bit of chin music when you come to these parts."
England captain Michael Vaughan prepares for life in the Caribbean

"We have a 19th-century ground which we are required to bring into the 21st century of sportsground safety compliance ... somehow the 20th century passed us by."
David Green, Sussex's chairman, faces up to the financial realities (all £367,454 of them) of being County Champions

"I'm trying to play like Fred, not Beefy, and Fred's doing all right at the moment."
Andrew Flintoff dismisses comparisons between himself and Ian Botham

"Clarke gets his Michelle Pfeiffer."
Dean Jones's comment on air after Michael Clarke got his fifth wicket at Dambulla

"It is better to swallow a sheep or a goat than swallow what he has been swallowing."
Arjuna Ranatunga's saucy response to Shane Warne's "swallowed a sheep" jibe

"Arjuna, he's probably slotting himself around at 150 kilos at the moment, is he? Swallowed a sheep or something like that."
Shane Warne hits back at his old foe Arjuna Ranatunga

"The present Australian team are unimpressive, when you look at the teams they used to have with the Waughs and Glenn McGrath. The Australian spin attack is not impressive at all when you see that we have Murali and others on our side."
Arjuna Ranatunga, the former Sri Lankan captain, ups the ante before the one-day series

"Everything about their game was perfect. I can't remember a game where we have been so completely dominated."
Australia's U19 coach, Bennett King, after his side were trounced by Zimbabwe in the Under-19 World Cup

"Back in Australia, when he first got called, he bowled a few leggies after that. He must be able to bowl leggies as well. He's probably just chucking that one in - sorry - putting that one in as well."
Ricky Ponting talks to Sydney Morning Herald about Muralitharan's new delivery

"There's nothing like putting your bare feet into fresh cow dung on a cold day. It's great."
Makhaya Ntini looks back on his younger days at a cattle farm in the Cape province

"Before I bowl, they [spectators] are calling 'no-ball' ... it's annoying if they call out every ball. It's okay once or twice, but not if you are going on and on about it.
Muttiah Muralitharan argues the case for quotas on taunting

"[Hussain's sledge] is part of the game. Normally they whinge, no?"
Muttiah Muralitharan prefers English sledging to complaining

"They are not going for war, but to play cricket. If somebody is not comfortable, he will not be forced to go. Someone else will go. These are the trusted lieutenants of the country."
Jagmohan Dalmiya mobilises his troops for Pakistan

"Our relationship's back on track, it's been dealt with, and as far as we're concerned it's all been put behind us."
Graeme Smith insists everything is rosy again between him and Lance Klusener

"I think this is my last chance at everything. My last chance with Simone. My last chance with my life. This is it"
Shane Warne signals his shifting priorities as he returns to cricket after a year's ban

"Having played a lot against the Indians I would not say they are chokers, even after our 3-0 streak in finals over the last year. It's not as though the Indians played terribly at Wanderers or Kolkata or Melbourne and Sydney."
After battering the Indians into submission Matthew Hayden rises to their defense, disagreeing with Sunil Gavaskar's contention that India had stolen the title of 'chokers in crunch matches' from South Africa

"Playing cricket in the heat can produce temporary blindness, sunstroke and heat stress, as well as increase the potential for long-term effects such as skin cancer."
A report by Janelle Noble-Jerks of Southern Cross University in Australia says that cricket is bad for your health, with over half of regular players in Australia developing skin cancer

"So ordinary and unedifying was the sight of the batsmen getting dismissed regularly that the tag of 'chokers in crunch matches' now belongs to them and not South Africa, who had monopolised it for a long time now."
Sunil Gavaskar takes India's defeat in the finals of the VB Series on the chin

"I played with some heroes, and not too many people can say they played the game they love at the elite level with heroes."
Stuart Law looks back on his domestic and international career in Australia

"He [Robert Mugabe] is the president of our country and that's why he is the top authority of the cricket union in Zimbabwe. That's the rule in our country. But we have no problems with him and vice versa. I think things are far more settled now in Zimbabwe."
Heath Streak plays happy families

"Sachin was so focused. He never looked like getting out. He was batting with single-minded devotion. It was truly remarkable. It was a lesson."
Tennis legend Martina Navratilova joins the Sachin Tendulkar fan club after watching him bat at Sydney

"There are people who put their own dismal prejudices, their half-baked colonial chippiness and their enjoyment of the agreeable futilities of sport ahead of these terrible things. They would prefer to whinge on about the "arrogance" of the English than consider the genuine evil of Mugabe. They ... are wallowing in wilful ignorance."
Simon Barnes writing in the London Times

"He was awesome. When he got out I went up to him and told him it was the greatest batting in a series I've ever experienced, for or against."
Brian Lara on Jacques Kallis's amazing run-spree in the just-concluded series

"He's only got one knee left. I know he'll be running in all day, so we've got to handle him well."
Nasser Hussain unintentionally highlights Essex's gamble in signing Darren Gough

"While the gap on Australia is closing, the Indians are realising how good it can be. They are growing up."
Bob Woolmer, the former South Africa coach, on India's new-found maturity

"The ECB is held in particularly low regard at the moment. When they were worried about money they went out of their way to make sure Zimbabwe toured England, now they're welching on their end of the deal."
An unnamed source "close to Cricket Australia" quoted in the Times

"I think England should go. They are our big brothers and they should encourage us."
Mohammad Ali Asghar, president of the Bangladesh Cricket Board, on the Zimbabwe question

"I would rather players get angry when they're dropped than take it lying down."
David Graveney, England's chairman of selectors, on Darren Gough's angry newspaper interview

"I'd much rather be known as a great guitar player than a great batsman."
Mark Butcher shows that music is his first love

"What a weak and cynical body of men are the decision-makers of the International Cricket Council ... they display all the moral integrity of your average bailiff."
Kevin Mitchell of The Observer is unimpressed with the ICC's stance on the Zimbabwe affair

"The way they played in the World Cup and on this tour of Australia, I'd put India right at the top."
Sunil Gavaskar believes that Australia are no longer the best

"Lee must have seen the white ball much more easily as it came out of your dark hand."
Hemang Badani comes out with a fool-proof excuse for Lakshmipathy Balaji after Brett Lee's last-over six

"Something was being applied to the ball quite obviously and he must have known it. It's quite conclusive on film."
ICC match referee Clive Lloyd dismisses suggestions that Rahul Dravid accidently used a cough lozenge to tamper with the ball

"We don't enjoy anyone going but we do want people who want to play for Yorkshire."
Yorkshire's director of cricket David Byas sends Darren Gough on his way

"Mrs Nel, fast bowlers do it quickly."
A spectator hold up a banner the day after Andre Nel's wedding

"If I had to make one comment on them, I would say that they should get rid of a little bit of bravado and concentrate on getting the cricket right. If you look bad doing it, who really gives a damn?"
Graeme Smith, South Africa's captain, offers some advice to the West Indies team

"There is a big difference between protecting one man for 24 hours inside a room and protecting about 20 in open spaces full of tens of thousands of people over four weeks."
India Today highlights the security differences between protecting India's prime minister and protecting a cricket team in Pakistan

"In the past we have collapsed well before the last day. At least we are fighting hard and reaching the final day now."
Brian Lara, West Indies' captain, takes the positives from a disappointing tour so far of South Africa

"When Zoral Barthley [chief cricket operations officer] passed the team on to me after he spoke to Sir Viv Richards on the phone, it was hand-written and had the name C-Paul, which I interpreted as C Baugh."
Derrick Nicholas, of the West Indies board, explains why Shivnarine Chanderpaul's name was initially missing from the squad for the South African one-day series

"It probably dates back to the '60s and '70s when we scored about one win a decade and then spent the next decade celebrating it."
John Bracewell, the New Zealand coach, talks about their lack of consistency

"With the possible exception of Rolf Harris, no other Australian has inflicted more pain and grief on Englishmen since Don Bradman."
The Daily Mirror's Mike Walters reflects on Steve Waugh's retirement

"I think he would have got a hundred just hitting along the ground ... the next bloody thing that comes out is that sweep and, Jeez, I hate that shot."
Rodger Waugh, Steve's father, reflects on his son's final Test innings

"When you look at the Australian team, they're not the youngest now; some of them are getting a bit long in the tooth. Someone told me that the Australian bowls team is a younger average age than the cricket team."
Heath Streak on the Australian one-day team ahead of the VB Series

"I wish he did his politics like his bowling. He would be a lot easier to beat."
Mark Latham, leader of the opposition in Australia, comments on Prime Minister John Howard's offbreaks.

"I play my natural game. If the ball is there for hitting then I hit it. That's it, nothing else. I'm not disappointed because the ball was loose and you go for a loose ball. It doesn't matter if I'm out or not."
Virender Sehwag explains his uncomplicated approach to batting

"There is no real sadness. I don't feel it is a sad occasion. I just feel I am lucky."
Steve Waugh prepares to exit the big time

"We wouldn't go into this Test if we didn't think we could win it."
Brian Lara before the third Test against South Africa

"I just hope, in all honesty, that Steve will walk if he hits it, you know what I mean? I would hate to be bringing up my bent finger as a controversial decision. I hope he'll go nice and easy - caught in the covers or bowled middle stump. I just hope he doesn't get his pads in the way or his bat's wide enough to get a thin edge."
Umpire Billy Bowden anxious he doesn't become a tragic Waugh story