Ashton who?

Say you've got an owie. Once the site is back up after days of "server trouble", the commiserations will flood in. "I had an owie once. It hurt like hell" or "Sachin, I banged my elbow so I could feel what it was like to be you".
Increase in followers: 50,000

Tell Atul Kasbekar to stop commanding everyone to follow you. It's annoying to be ordered to do things by someone when you don't know what he's famous for.
Increase in followers: 100,000 minus AK

Tell us what you really said to Rahul Dravid after he declared the innings with you on 194 in Multan. So you said you were "disappointed" but did you march into the dressing room and point the bat to his chest and say, "You and me, outside, right now, punk"?
Increase in followers: 200,000

Start a sledging war with Shane Warne. Tell him you know you are the chief character in all his nightmares. Tell him you wanted to retire after the Sharjah series in 1998 because batting against him was embarrassingly easy. Tell him Bradman told you that he liked you better and thought Warnie was a bit of a chump. Tell him you know what he did last summer.
Increase in followers: 500,000

Announce you'll write a tell-all book. On Twitter. One hundred and forty characters every day, covering 20 years in cricket. Children will indeed grow up listening to your stories.
Increase in followers: 1,000,000

Put your Ferrari up for auction on the site. Since no one can actually afford it, you'll get to keep it and increase your following. Of course, requests to test-drive it will have to be dealt with, but that's little trouble compared to the joy of going on Oprah to tell her how you got past Ashton Kutcher.
Increase in followers: 2,000,000

Declare that you now remember what Harbhajan Singh really said in Sydney two years ago, and that you are considering blackmailing him in exchange for your silence. Then let readers vote on what you should do.
Increase in followers: 4,000,000 + Andrew Symonds

Tweet "I quit". Once the earth starts rotating again after months of "mysterious violent tremors" throw it off its axis, at least a billion fans will have joined to weep, start cyber riots and threaten to boycott cricket forever if you go through with your plan. Then tweet: "Oops, I think someone hacked my account". While a nationwide hunt is launched for said hacker, millions will follow your feed, the better to rage about how anyone can dare to soil God's Twitter.
Increase in followers: "This service is temporarily unavailable"