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Boned! The 12th Man

The marvellous Billy Birmingham returns

Schoolboys and adults with a schoolboy sense of humour have been salivating at the news that Billy Birmingham, aka The 12th Man, has released a new album

Brydon Coverdale

December 3, 2006

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Boned! by The 12th Man (EMI, 2 discs) $29.95



Boned! The 12th Man is back

Schoolboys, and adults with a schoolboy sense of humour, have been salivating at the news that Billy Birmingham, aka The 12th Man, has released a new album. It has been five years since his last effort and, more notably, 22 (twenty-twoooo) years since his first foul-mouthed parody of Richie Benaud and the Channel 9 commentary team, It's Just Not Cricket.

Fans of The 12th Man series - who pushed sales of his back catalogue past 2 million units - will not be disappointed with Boned!, which hit the shelves in Australia on Saturday. The first thing to note is that the title is not quite as rude as it sounds, although there is a rather disturbing Richie sex scene within the first 15 minutes.

The premise is that the Channel 9 chief executive Eddie McGuire bones (fires) the whole commentary team in a cost-cutting move, then hires Birmingham to take over behind the microphone because he can imitate all their voices for a fraction of the price.

Benaud, in a dream, consults the late Kerry Packer who he finds playing Texas Hold'em in heaven with Jesus and the apostles, and is advised not to take McGuire's decision lying down. So while Birmingham is in the Channel 9 commentary box for the Ashes, Richie and the boys decide to launch "Operation Kill Billy" and get revenge on The 12th Man by recording their own cover of his 1991 novelty song Marvellous.

Some of the album's funniest moments are provided by Richie's malapropisms, especially when in an attempt to appeal to a younger audience he and his co-commentators try to learn the language of rap from the Australian TV and radio presenter Andrew G.



Billy Birmingham © Getty Images

The brand of toilet humour will not be for everyone. But despite all the vulgarity, there are plenty of non-offensive laughs as well. While impersonating Lawry in the commentary box, Birmingham refers to "the quicker delivery - or the reverse slow ball as it's known these days", and Shane Warne dropping a chance, "or the reverse catch".

And with England's Ashes squad decimated by injury, the selectors are forced to call Tony Greig, Graham Gooch and Mark Nicholas out of retirement for the Perth Test, along with a couple of members of the Barmy Army. Greig's comeback innings has disastrous consequences for him, which in turn has Lawry rolling with laughter.

It is Birmingham's combination of crassness and cleverness that has struck a chord with his fans. All six of The 12th Man's previous albums reached No.1 on the Australian charts and in the lead-up to Christmas Boned! is almost certain to do so as well.

Brydon Coverdale is editorial assistant of Cricinfo

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