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Cartoon capers

Peter English compares the Australians to various cartoon characters

Peter English
Peter English
29-Nov-2004


Matthew Hayden: enjoys cooking wild animals? © René Goscinny, Albert Uderzo
The ruthless efficiency of the world's best team is making them an easy target. As successfully predictable as a Delta Goodrem song, their clinical side is masking the brilliance. By playing so well and often, the spectacular has become normal over frequent examinations and what was once an A is a comfortable pass.
Build a big lead through a few of the top seven, unleash the four bowlers, grind them towards collapse and don't enforce the follow-on. The bat-first theory has been followed meticulously and even Stephen Fleming has fallen asleep in the dressing room.
But it is not an attack of the clones that has pushed Australia to current home-and-away wins against every side except India, Bangladesh and New Zealand, who should be added any day. If their lustre clouds it is necessary to view this almost-all-conquering side in other ways. Off-beat lists and loony comparisons are a successful way of staying awake, and can be helpful remembering favourite cartoons and comics.
The destructive missions of Justin Langer and Matthew Hayden are like those of Asterix and Obelix, the indomitable Gauls. Asterix is small, shrewd, ready for anything and full of intensity; Obelix is a hulking figure with superhuman strength who travels at his own pace and enjoys cooking wild animals. An incredibly successful partnership, the Gauls despise the Romans while Langer and Hayden dislike bowling. Beginning the day intent on more plunder, Langer collected his 6,000th Test run and Hayden picked up a bleeding chin from a top-edged sweep off Daniel Vettori on the way to a half-century.
Ricky Ponting completes everything at full pace and his sprint across the pitch from bat-pad yesterday was classic Taz, the Tasmania devil who sees the world in a hungry spin. Yogi Bear is an old-style character to be matched with Darren Lehmann: both are swayed by picnic baskets and colourful adventures, although Lehmann seems happy to wear pants. Usually next to Lehmann in the order, Damien Martyn is Boo Boo, the small, under-rated, but essential accomplice.


New Zealand on tour: no plan has fully ignited and the dynamite either quickly ran out or was faulty © Warner Bros.
Michael Clarke, the young pup, is all excitement, has been in a hurry throughout his career and gets everybody's attention. Already a star after six Tests, he is Pluto and shines ahead of Adam Gilchrist, the side's clean-cut Clark Kent ready to don cape or gloves. Bugs Bunny keeps chewing after any disaster and like Shane Warne is always the show's star. Warne spent much of the first innings asking "What's up, Shep?" Not much was the answer.
A huge presence in Asia, Michael Kaprowicz is Hong Kong Phooey as he charges in ready to strike. When Jason Gillespie pulls his helmet down he could be Marvan the Martian, and as he bowls on his home ground there are always expectations of an earth-shattering kaboom. Running through the 400-wicket wood is Glenn McGrath, a Tigger-like pest who, as Stephen Fleming discovered yesterday, pops in for regular surprises. Relief comes only when he's gone.
New Zealand currently resemble Wile E. Coyote on a tour where no plan has fully ignited and the dynamite either quickly ran out or was faulty. Australia have spent four days running them around on an Adelaide road, and the second innings will determine the remaining strength of their characters.