What might Mark Ramprakash have said when he took off his shirt last week? © Getty Images

"Cannonball!!" shouted Craig Burley, confusing but amusing us with seemingly a near-total lack of logic. He did have the decency to justify it, though. "This might be a bit too much of an American reference." Indeed so, Craig. Samriddhi Sankar Ray from India was thankfully rather more predictable in his fine entry: "England may have their 'Flint off', but I have my shirt off for now! Mark that I am no ram!"

No more rams appeared in our inbox, though it was rammed to bursting with dozens of you trying to match Mike Oakley's fabulously witty comment. "Help! There's a bee on me!" We can't confirm yet whether Ramprakash is apiphobic but it was a jolly fine effort from Mike and all those who offered similar sentiments.

We like to think of ourselves as quite the wordsmiths at Cricinfo, and anyone bold enough to offer something out of the ordinary gets our praise. Well done, then, to Amol Pantakar who surely is the new Terry Pratchett on the basis of his email. "Help, the devils in the shadows are coming. They got my feet... and my shirt...help!" Doesn't explain his meagre Test batting average though Amol, if that's what you were inferring.

Inevitably, a French footballer's name cropped up; Zinedine Zidane's shocking head butt in the football World Cup was a shoe in for many of you, especially the peculiarly named Mad Murr who said "Help! Zinedine Zidane offered to swap shirts with me after the game and now he wants to head butt me, too."

From Mad Murr to the rather aptly named Duncan Smart who, tongue firmly wedged in cheek, murmured "I say, honestly, you loutish Twenty20 crowds are so undignified, frankly I think it simply insults the history of the game." Very good.

First prize to the most wacky of wackiness goes to the Petty family who chirped "Whappey-da-doop-da ka-lang-da doooo!". Very Spike Milligan, very stupid, and right up our street. Equally tickling were the Bakel family's offering: "Lads! Lads! My shirt is on fire!" which was far more predictable than Kierthi Swaminathan's fruity thought: "To his wife: `I've kept up my side of the promise, honey. Bring out the handcuffs and the whip".

"Ramps hoped the subtly disguised baseball bat would go unnoticed as he entered the England selectors' office," twittered Sumran Choudrey who oddly was one of just two to offer similar thoughts. Lock those doors, Graveney and co.

Prizes to Sumran, the Petty's, Mike, Amol and Duncan. Well done to all, and thanks for all your emails. We'll have another competition for you next week for the second Test.

For the results of our previous competitions click here