Tangos with the umpire, and aged spectators

Darren Gough: his quicksteps couldn't save him from the umpire © Getty Images

Hamstrung by the umpire
It's not been a good week for England fast bowlers. James Anderson's got a stress fracture and Simon Jones has yet more knee problems, but the man who's probably feeling the most hard-done-by is Darren Gough. He emerged unscathed from "Strictly Come Dancing", but an accidental tango with the umpire proved too much for his 35-year-old hamstrings. He was in the midst of a stunning spell for Essex against Hampshire in the C&G Trophy - and had just had Kevin Pietersen dropped behind the stumps - but when Graham "Budgie" Burgess belatedly raised his arm to prevent the next ball being bowled, Gough hurtled straight into it, and limped straight out again. Pietersen smashed 98 from 73 deliveries, and that was the end of that.

No reason for self-asphyxia
... not that anyone in England cares about injured bowlers, of course, because everyone is banging on about injured sportsmen of a different kind ... or are they? This letter to The Times would beg to differ.

Sir, You report that "The nation anxiously awaits ... with bated breath" the results of Wayne Rooney's scan (sport, May 3). No it doesn't. I would suggest that for many of us Mr Rooney's misfortunes are a cause of no concern, and are certainly no reason for self-asphyxia.

Now if Freddie Flintoff broke his foot, that would be a different matter entirely ...

For queen and county
Elton John was the saviour of Watford Football Club in the 1980s, and now it seems his altruism knows no bounds. According to a report in Thursday's Guardian, Elton is to hold a host of concerts at grounds all around the country, from Kent to Somerset to Worcestershire, as county chiefs wake up to the need to diversify and improvise in a bid to balance the books. Canterbury expects to raise some £50,000 in one night and attract the largest crowd in its 158-year history.

Make mine a treble
Damian Cialini, a 25-year-old batsman from Adelaide, has hammered a massive 303 not out in a League match in Suffolk, the highest individual total since the 1970s. As captain of Yoxford, he was all set to bowl first if he'd won the toss, but made up for his disappointment by smacking 40 fours and 16 sixes. His innings was not without controversy, however, when he survived a loud caught-behind appeal early on. "I was nowhere near to it," he insisted. "I actually hit my pad with my bat which is why I didn't walk. Most of the opposition were okay but a couple would not let it go and kept chirping on about it."

Bowled over at the Rose Bowl
Hampshire's chairman, Rod Bransgrove, was splenetic earlier this month when the ECB criticised the state of the Rose Bowl pitch and cited it as one reason why the county was not ready to receive Test status. So quite what he had to say about Billy Taylor's performance in the championship this week is anyone's guess. Six Middlesex batsmen made ducks as they crumbled from 50 for 1 to 52 for 6 and 98 all out, with Taylor grabbing 6 for 32 including a hat-trick. It wasn't just a seamer's paradise though - Shane Warne applied the coup de grace with 7 for 99 in the second innings.

Bringing the fans back through the turnstiles
We all know that last summer's Ashes helped reignite the nation's passion for cricket, but some fans have been hiding their feelings for longer than others - precisely 100 years in the case of Henry Allingham, the oldest man in Britain, who witnessed Surrey's massive innings-and-297-run victory over Gloucestershire at The Oval on Friday. Mr Allingham is believed to have been just nine years old when he last set foot on the venerable ground, to watch WG Grace playing for the Gentlemen against the Players.

Ghetto superstar
The former Warwickshire batsman, Wasim Khan, has been given a slap on the wrists by his local MP, the honourable member for Spark-brook and Small Heath, Roger Godsiff. Wasim, 35, who retired in 2002, has just written his autobiography, but the subtitle: "from the ghetto to pro cricket and beyond" has got Mr Godsiff's blood boiling. "I think Wasim Khan was a very fine cricketer," he said ominously, "... but Small Heath is not a ghetto. At one time, it was an affluent suburb of the city, if you go back to the Industrial Revolution in Birmingham." Best ask Mr Allingham's opinion about that ...

Klokking up the keepers
Warwickshire's Danish import, Freddie Klokker, just can't help making the headlines at present. A fortnight ago, he made his first-class debut against Sussex, a year after he all but lost his sight in an on-field accident. The circumstances of his second match, however, are even more improbable and almost certainly unique - one minute he was playing for the Nottinghamshire second XI, with whom he was on loan; the next he had swapped shirts and was making the 40-minute drive from Derby to Trent Bridge, to turn out for Warwickshire firsts against ... Nottinghamshire.

Quotehanger
"If it wasn't for Shane Warne in that Australia team then we would have won the Ashes 4-1. He probably had a bigger influence on Australia than Freddie did on England." Kevin Pietersen can always be relied to fan the flames of an argument, and he did just that at the launch of npower's Urban Cricket scheme in South London this week.